From awareness to acceptance: what real support looks like

When April rolls around, social media lights up with puzzle pieces, blue lights, and hashtags for Autism Acceptance Month. You’ll see facts and figures about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and maybe even some heartfelt posts about knowing someone who’s "on the spectrum."

But what happens when April ends?

Let's face it - awareness isn’t enough. Awareness says, "I know autism exists." Acceptance says, "I want to understand, include, and support autistic people in meaningful ways." It’s a shift from passive to active. It's long overdue.

I’ve evaluated many adults for ASD over the years. I can tell you that most of them don’t need more awareness. They need environments, relationships, and systems that meet them where they are. Let’s talk about what that kind of real support looks like.

What does acceptance really mean?

Acceptance is more than recognizing a diagnosis. It’s a mindset shift. It means:

• Respecting that autistic people process the world differently

• Letting go of the idea that they need to be "fixed"

• Creating space for neurodivergent ways of thinking, feeling, and interacting

Awareness campaigns are really well-meaning but they tend to stop short. They may highlight early signs of autism or promote early intervention, but they rarely challenge the the unfair belief systems that treat non-autistic ways of thinking and behaving as the "right" or "better" way to be. Real acceptance starts when we look inward and ask: Am I making room for difference or trying to erase it?

There's a support gap. Ok, where are we still missing the mark? 

1. Mental Health Care

There are not a whole lot of adult providers who have gotten specific training on how autism shows up in adults. Some assume a flat affect means someone isn’t emotionally engaged. Others miss the signs of masking or mistake autistic burnout for depression. This is not me saying that providers don't care. We absolutely do. ASD is just not the specialty of many adult providers. 

2. Education

Support often drops off after high school. Furthermore, not all college student accommodations services are setup to handle executive functioning challenges, sensory needs, or social anxiety.

3. Employment

Many workplaces emphasize "culture fit" over flexibility. "Culture fit" often means hiring people who very easily blend into existing workplace norms (e.g., social styles, communication approaches, or even hobbies). This can take precedence over valuing different ways of thinking or being. As a result, autistic adults are often underemployed or unemployed. This is not because they can’t do the job but because the environment isn’t set up to accommodate them.

4. Diagnosis and Services for Adults

Most diagnostic systems are still geared towards kids. Adults who seek an ASD evaluation often face a lot of barriers. Some providers may be unfamiliar with how autism presents later in life, some adults are told they "can't" be autistic because they don't fit stereotypes, and many encounter misinformation or long waitlists just to get an appointment.

5. Family and Community

Family members often mean well but may unintentionally invalidate their loved one’s experience. They might say things like "everyone’s a little autistic. " This can minimize the very real challenges autistic people face. Sometimes family members also push for behavior changes that make the autistic person seem more "typical." Again, they are well-intentioned in believing that these suggested behavior changes will help their loved one fit in or avoid stigma. But unfortunately, this way of thinking can end up prioritizing the family's comfort over the autistic person’s authentic self and emotional well-being.

What is neuroaffirming care/support? 

Neuroaffirming care means supporting autistic people without trying to make them appear "less autistic." Here’s what that might look like in everyday practice:

• Honoring sensory needs (e.g., letting someone wear headphones or skip eye contact)

• Using clear and direct language rather than hinting or implying

• Respecting different communication styles (including using scripts or not speaking much to begin with)

• Allowing stimming instead of discouraging it

• Helping people build systems that work for them instead of ones that copy what is considered "normal" behavior by non-autistic people

In therapy, this could mean offering a structured session agenda or using pictures, charts, or written lists to make information easier to understand and remember. In schools, it might look like giving more processing time or letting a student opt out of group work.

I once evaluated a young adult woman who masked her autistic traits so well that even close friends didn’t know. She was super successful in her career too. But inside, she was mentally exhausted, anxious, and often on edge. When we sat down together for her evaluation, she started hearing the right questions and getting curiosity in response to her feelings. This allowed her to let her guard down a bit. No pressure to make eye contact and no judgment for going on and on about her interests. She let out a big exhale. Why? Because she was truly seen. 

Why listening to autistic people changes everything

If we’re serious about acceptance, we need to center autistic voices. Unfortunately, many services are still created for autistic people without involving them in the process.

There’s a growing number of autistic adults sharing their stories online and in books. They’re advocating for sensory-friendly spaces, for trauma-informed care, and for a shift in how we talk about autism altogether. Are we listening?

We can:

• Follow autistic creators on social media

• Read memoirs and articles written by autistic adults

• Invite feedback from autistic clients or colleagues

• Question policies or practices that prioritize appearances over well-being

Acceptance ➡️ Action

Suggestions for clinicians:

• Take some time to learn more about masking and autistic burnout (especially how they show up in adults)

• Consider how neurodivergent traits are described in your reports (language makes a difference)

• Explore what your clients want from therapy rather than assuming based on outside expectations

If you’re a family member:

• Believe your loved one’s experience even if it doesn’t match your expectations

• Support routines, not just "flexibility"

• Don’t push for eye contact or "typical" behavior

Teachers, employers, or community members:

• Offer quiet spaces or noise-canceling options

• Give written instructions as well as verbal ones

• Ask how someone prefers to communicate

• Practice patience when someone needs more time to respond

Looking ahead to a more inclusive future

Autism Acceptance Month invites us to reflect on how we can support and include autistic people in more meaningful ways. Not just during April but all year long. Awareness is a starting point but certainly not the finish line.

Supporting autistic people means rethinking what we consider "normal," adjusting how schools and workplaces are set up, and making space for the voices and experiences of autistic people. It means creating environments where people don’t have to mask just to belong.

Acceptance is the baseline. Let’s build from there.